Have you ever walked along a shoreline, only to have your footprints washed away? That is what Alzheimer's is like. The waves erase the marks we leave behind, all the sand castles. Some days are better than others - Pat Summit
To experience a loved one drift away, their cognition seeming to leave their bodies, can be painful and confusing. We long for answers and ways to ensure that this does not happen to us. We wish to be able to provide greater comfort to the ones we love when a moment of clarity, clouded with confusion comes around. Physically, the person we know stands before us, but emotionally and mentally, it is may not be the same. Many a moment is shared with a man I love dearly, my Pepe, where I see him sitting or standing there as a physical being, but I no longer feel the centered strength that came from his quiet, loving energy. During visits, as I look into his eyes, I see at times, only a shell of the man I know. When I see him look into the eyes of Mimi, his wife and my strong, loving and sassy grandmother - he is there once more. He sees her and in turn he sees himself once again. It is a beautiful moment to experience. Whether or not he remembers who I am he likes to take my hand and really the hand of any woman, as he walks down the halls of where he lives. Memory in tact or not, he continues to radiate love and wishes to help all those around him.
When moments of clarity (clouded by confusion) come, I so wish to hug him and tell him that all is OK, but who am I to say that and will he understand what I am saying?... I do not know that it matters. For, in those moments, if I am able, I simply take his hand without talking and he holds on tightly. Without words we communicate more often now than with and it is these cherished moments of silence that I hold onto with all my heart.
I recently had a very dear friend of mine reach out as he struggled to understand how something such as Alzheimer's could make any sense. In his sharing of time spent with an individual who has Alzheimer's he wondered - "how are we to learn anything from life when our mind is fading?" - Perhaps, we are not. Perhaps we are here to experience and to learn in the very moment that we have now and with the next moment, well who knows what it will bring.
I struggled for months to come to an understanding of this disease and why it "takes the mind and memories" from someone I love dearly and who has done such wonders in his life. Truth be told I have come up with little understanding when I work to find meaning (in this way). I have surrendered to the energy of love yet again here, as I have found myself believing this ...
We come full circle in this body sometimes (I understand that not all do) - so we begin life dependent and end that way ... where we must surrender this vessel, our body, to the care of others (around us), as our soul prepares for its next journey ... for the next vessel it will inhabit.
I do not expect all to share in my understanding. On a spiritual level, it just makes sense to me, that our Soul may be ready to begin writing another story before our body is ready to put an end to this one. It is not an easy journey (always) for the one moving through the experience or for those who dearly love that individual.
John - is the name of my dad, the man on the left in the above photo, Pepe is to his right. My dad, John is one of a very few people whose name is still always remembered by Pepe. It is heartwarming to see his eyes light up, as he recognizes one he loves by his side. - He, Pepe, is this way with Mimi too and every moment I get to spend together with them both is nothing short of a great gift of love.
May we be Beings of Love. May we surrender to our own love and light from within and that which is around us, always. Wishes of love and peace to all.
A spiritual being on a physical journey, striving to make a positive impact on this world through my actions and loving intention. I believe that we are all capable of greatness, it is how we channel this great energy that matters... I choose to express it in the name of -- peace and love.